Growing up with a weight that is less than 100 lbs, at age 17 really sucks especially when you're in high school and if you're not really that in to sports and stuff. Which makes me think if those testosterone overloaded jocks are really worth looking up to. Please read on:
I remember this cool poster (or was it a billboard?) when I was in grade 1 (i guess) where he's standing there with an uzi and there are hordes of black & white ninjas lined up in their kickass fighting positions. And I used to make my action figures ranging from GI Joes, He-Man and Rambo's into imitating that poster, where I later learned on Movies To Watch that the film was called American Ninja 2, where it starred this dude named Michael Didikoff, and I remember that I asked one of my brothers to take me to the movie house at Delta theatre to watch that film, but he refused to grant that request and years later I got the chance to watch that crap film I looked back and felt glad that he didn't take me to watch that film for whatever reason it may be, (I think it was either I was too young for the graphic violence of the movie or he still remember the story that my other brother told when of the time when he took me to watch King Kong versus Godzilla and I pleaded with him to take me home because I got scared of King Kong's ugly face.) But that's not important now the important thing is that I got to watch the movie years later where I am old enough to realize that posters are so deceitful, and that movies that starred actors like Didikoff, or Dolph Lundgren (whom I just read about, has a PhD in Chemistry), or Jan Michael Vincent are just pile macho studs who just so happen to look good with their uzis, M16s and grenade launchers, but nevertheless never really had talents to share to us and that is why people like Fabio and Billy Ray Cyrus are considered as insignificant baritone voiced gnomes. And the best breaks those kind of guys would get are as punching bags to Van Damme, Stalone and Governor Arnold.
But anyways I still appreciate those guys since they like blowing up stuff like vietcongs, yakuzas who all look the same and get to kick the asses of some innocent bystanders and every once in a while will get the chance to exchange blows with Chuck Norris or Shokusugi and their movies get to see in Solar Channel where I'd be sharing a good laugh or two at their projected senseless violence along with whoever I am with at that time or even get a TV series with titles like Cobra, Viper, Air Wolf, Blue Thunder, Thunder In Paradise etc.
And for whatever reason I am writing this about I'm sure glad that I didn't end up being a jock or ended up trying so hard to make myself be like one, and I always find it cool whenever I'd get to see this re-run on Friends where Ross was so jealous of Rachel's new dude, because he's got the macho thing in him, but there's this woman who tells him that those macho one's are just macho with nothing else to offer other than their masculinity and their bulk while he in the other hand is the stuff of a protagonist who struggles amidst his lack of esteem and bulges to get the girl.
And when I look back at my old literature class with Ave Perez Jacod I could not help but smile when he explained to us the difference of a hero and a protagonist. The hero is the embodiment of what could be expected physically, morally and emotionally of a character in a story which makes that character in the end too impersonal for anyone to relate to, while the protagonist is the real lead of the story the one who perseveres despite the odds just like Frodo, the fragile person who would always end up as the one who saves the day.
So what does this say about me?
Nothing actually but I really like to think that I'm the protagonist of the continuing saga of living life that is written here on this blog and I'd like to warn you all that there is no testosterone overdose here and that this blog is for the wusses who've spent all their lives in insecurity.

posted by m35b @ Friday, August 27, 2004

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