Monday, September 13, 2004
It all seems familiar doesn't it?
You'd never know how much I've been in the same situation for a lot of times in my life.
It looks as though as it was merely the start of our gig to some unknown destination that we were suppose to play in, with our guitars in hand and a crowd of apathetic strangers faces us to whose reactions we were eager not to find out.
But this time its different.
The band, Life Is Trying has long since given off its last erg of breath to its withering potentials, it has bitten the dust and there's no use in resucitating it, that was then this is now.
True enough it was not a Life Is Trying gig, no we were not suppose to be there in the first place and the only reason that we're there is that I was about to pick up my electric guitar from Mark who borrowed it a few months earlier.
Incidentally though Cedric called Mark because he and his new band has a gig nearby and so thought it best also to invite us there as well.
So there we were now walking as though it was our gig, but it wasn't, it was Cedric's.
And I know that for a while now I've been really much of a crap-talking jerk to Cedric eversince the demise of Life Is Trying.
I admit that I've harboured angst and strife.
But thanks be to God that we were given a chance at closure.
True enough despite whatever difference it is that we've had back then it was still first and foremost that must be noted that we were after all friends.
Not just friends but good friends.
I know that back then I've been quite acting like this megalomaniac, tyrant of a lead-singer with an Axl Rose complex of asserting my authority over the rest of the band. And true enough with such passion towards the music that I love I've come to forget the real reason why we have this band in the first place.
It was because we were friends and that we love writing songs, playing music, confining ourselves into a studio.
Sadly my domineering eventually lead to the breaking of that trust and that bond, and Cedric was the one that got the worst share of my angst.
I write this now really so as to apologize to Cedric for being a major pain and for being so much of a skeptic with his ability and worth. For undermining him as a person, a friend and as an artist.
I know a lot of people whom we both know would look at him as sort of this loser, but in a greater sense who are they to see him as this loser, success is such a relative word anyway. But true enough in his own way and standards I would be the first one to attest that in his own right he is a success.
I've known him way back as a person who could shame Jim Lee, or Whilce or Lifefield with his slick drawing style and that it was his dream to work on a comic book. True enough he's living that dream. Another is his love for ska music and true enough again he's also in a ska band. And I am proud that unlike so many of our contemporaries in the days of our youth he pursued those dreams and now lives them, and I congratulate him for that.
As for Life Is Trying, well...that was the past there was no need any more for it. It should stay there in the past because now is the time for all of us to move on with our lives and get on with whatever it is that is set to unfold in our life's journey.
By the way upon meeting Cedric right there at the time our mere greeting was that of a hug, which I think was kind of gay for both of us, but screw them we're emo nerds anyways and we're emotional with that whole thing. No words were spoken just plain and simple respect for each other. More words could be spoken but I'd rather not it would spoil the story and that another is that it doesn't matter what I say because what is written here is not about me anyways, its about Cedric.
My friend. My good friend.