I just got back from church camp a few days ago, and it was quite a very intimate spiritual experience for me I must say since it revived me with a new sense of purpose in my life to serve the Most High and express my genuine concern for the lost and it has also revealed to me the evangelism style that best suits my personality. Another is that it is an eyeopener for me to understand how far I am now from my dearest friends who have chosen to stay in the sidelines in what is to be called Christianity, and how they are now somewhat jaded by the fact that I have decided to move on with this act of surrender to God, and that they're still busy with thinking and weighing it out, I have nothing against them, I just pray that they'd soon realize the need to nurture their newly sowed relationship with God. Its also worth saying that I've also had a great time at camp with my church friends that have no political and punk/emo musical clingings just the kindred identities we had in Christ, its quite amazing also to think that the God of all creation was versatile enough to share His love for all people regardless of their cultural, racial, etc backgrounds, which I observed when I got the chance to interact with the other campers from LA's Saddleback Church. All in all it was more that worthwhile for an activity during the holidays it was God sent.
Another is that I just got bad news from work though up to now I am not yet that entombed with a sense of distress and despair upon after hearing the news that the outsourced web content management project that I'm working on here at the office has its contract terminated by the client from the states, causing me and my other teamates in the project in a state of limbo for another 30 days here at the office. We're allowed to stay for another month paid without having much to do until the company finds another project for us to work on or until we find a new one outside the company which is a very viable option. But true enough if there's no work that is to be rendered to us for the next 30 days it will be bye bye for us.
And as I look back at a previous post I was reminded of a vow that I made that this January I'll be leaving this company for good, but it looks as though that I am taking my entire department with me in my exodus. To me I guess it is a good indicator that God has something better for me outside of this company and that I was at least able to fulfil a written vow that I broadcasted here in this blog.
But it is quite sad to think about the fate of my other officemates who are now busy with their jobstreet accounts to search for a new job. I often manifested my angst in this blog by allegorically describing myself as cattle or a commodity to my boss but I overlooked the fact that though I regard myself as one there are others who liked or never really did looked at themselves as such, mainly because they enjoy what they're doing or are just contented with the fact that they have a stable source of income.
But whatever reason it may be the future is but a bleak disrupted by this sad news, and for all we know maybe we're better off with a new start at new occupations at some other company or whatever vocation it may be.
For now I look forward with a lot of uncertainities at what the coming days holds for me as well as that persistent thinking in my head where I am grasping for words so as to break this sad news to my parents. I am scared. I feel helpless and uncertain. I see a lot of options. But one thing is certain it is this conviction that I have to such a profound statement: "I may not know what the future may hold but I know Who holds the future."
I guess it is where I'll hold fast for the moment....
posted by m35b @ Monday, January 03, 2005
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